From time to time, things will go wrong during a speech or presentation.

The mike will squeal, you'll walk too near to the speakers and get feedback, the bulb on the projector will burn out, someone will point out a spelling error on a slide, the flipchart will collapse, a phone in the room will ring, or you'll garble your words and talk gibberish.

In the overall scheme of things, all of these are minor hiccups, and won't cause you a minute's lost sleep after the event, but at the time they can completely throw you, especially if you are feeling nervous in the first place.

But how you deal with unforseen hiccups is one of the things that separates the amateurs from the pros. If done correctly, you can turn these hiccups to your advantage and cause your audience's perception of your professionalism to actually go up when something goes wrong.

So ...... how do you do this? The answer is to identify the various things that could go wrong, and then have a planned ad-lib up your sleeve to cover your embarrassment. Note that these don't have to be rib-achingly funny. Their intention is not to rock the audience with paroxysms of laughter, but to show that you are unfazed by what has happened, and are cool, calm, collected and confident.

Let's look at some examples. Say each of these with a smile, while looking the audience straight in the eye.

The mike squeals

• “I normally pass out earplugs at all my talks. I find that if I don't, someone else usually does.”
• Or indicate that you've had an idea, empty your pockets of your keys and loose change and put them on the table/lectern and say, "Well it usually works in the airport."

The sound system fails

• "It must be nearly Xmas. We've got a sound system with no batteries included."
• "No problem, we'll just switch to our non-electronic back-up amplification system. Can everybody please place your hands behind your ears?"
• "I'm glad this company doesn't make pacemakers."
• "I suddenly feel like I'm talking to my kids."
• "I'd like to thank the person who set up the sound sytem; someone who obviously believes that actions speak louder than words."

The lights go off

• “It appears that I need to shed some more light on this subject”
• "Don't panic. this is really easy to fix. Can everybody please raise their hands above their head and shake them from side to side?(ad lib instructions until the lights come back on) Know how I learned that? I read somewhere that many hands make light work'."
• "Does anyone have a kite, some string and a key?"
• "Welcome to the tunnel at the end of the light."
• "As you can see, we have alternating current. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't."
• "Where is Maguiver when you need him?"

The projector bulb burns out

• “I don't understand. I left this thing on all weekend to make sure the bulb worked.“

You garble your words

• "Do you ever wish your lips came with a set of instructions?"
• "Ever had the feeling you left your tongue in your other suit?"
• "Now I remember why I believe in reincarnation. I just couldn't have become this confused in the one lifetime."
• "Mouths are like doors. They should only be opened when you know where you're going."
• "I think I've just perfomred the world's first DIY lobotomy."
• "And now let me repeat that for those of you who don't speak ancient Babylonian."

Somebody points out a misspelling

• “I guess that’s what happens when you get your dog to proofread your presentation.”

You trip on the way to the stage

• “It took years of finishing school to learn to do that“
• "That was for all those who say I don't have a leg to stand on."

You drop something

• "As you can see, what I lack in co-ordination I more than make up for in clumsiness."

Miscellaneous (i.e. anything)

• “For an encore I will now juggle chain saws. I think it would be easier than being up here right now.”
• "This is one of the nice things about being away from home. If something goes wrong, you're not expected to fix it."
• "This is about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle."

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